Can of worms

Do you ever start something simple and realise what you thought was simple is in actual fact a huge ginormous can of worms?!

That’s me this week having opened a book to write up some notes. I read the book months ago but wanted to have the notes somewhere in all one place. As I went throught the book I was reminded again about the power of the things in the book and how it spoke so clearly into my life.

Made to Crave (which I’ve mentioned in previous posts) is a book which turns dieting and weightloss away from just a health or physical thing and rightly positions it to be an act of disciple with and obedience to God. Our bodies are a temple of God and we should look after and respect our bodies are just that – a dwelling of God.

Some key things started jumping back out of the book at me, things I’ve pushed aside or forgotten. One particular thing was about how we view our bodies and what they are worth. I think it comes down to value. And that is what I time and time again fail to grasp.

But as I thought this evening I began to wonder whether actually I do grasp this but it’s my habit that stops me from feeling it or believing it. Am I so ingrained in the belief that I’m not loveable that it’s go to thought process? Do I actually believe that or do I in actual fact believe that I am loved by God just-as-I-am? Is it not so much the belief I can’t grasp as the habit i cannot seem to break?!

And this is where my can of worms remains… More thoughts and ideas, more room for God to speak but still no sureness on how to step forward and how to break this emotion that stops me from living fully loved and working out of that place. The past? A habit? A scar? A trap? A lack of experience? Not enough feeling? All of the above?!

I am neck deep in my can of worms!

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